Many posts ago I mentioned the state of walking disintegration that is my trenchcoat. If it was still available in my exact size...or being sold in a store in the same country as I am (which would make returns easier in case of "sizing issues")...this would be the perfect replacement.

How cool is this Sonia by Sonia Rykiel trench? Even Peter Falk would be jealous...
This is all erroneous what you're writing.
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