Depression comes to a head

I've always felt that, whatever else, I'm a hat girl...then I saw these floppy, satin chapeaus from Marc Jacobs' 07/08 Resort collection.

Words fail me...well, almost...I'm sorry, but this is like fabric looking for a place to die.

The only flattering comparison that I could get for these is that they (vaguely...if I squint) remind me of a picture I once saw of director Akira Kurosawa. He was wearing a sunhat with a bandana underneath which fell down like a curtain to protect his neck from the sun. The thing is...he looked good...and there wasn't a scrap of satin in sight.