| However, as I seem to be the human equivalent of catnip for every lunatic, bum, and construction worker roaming the streets it is, sadly, a consideration. Leers, comments, and propositions...seriously, do these men have nothing better to do with their time? And as it mainly occurs when I’m wearing a skirt or dress I consider jeans and pants to be “safe”. Once upon a time I thought that long skirts were pretty harmless, until I went out one day in a full, mid-calf length vintage skirt from Ralph Lauren... I can only assume that, in that instance, the lunatic in question had a Little House on the Prairie fetish. Susie Bubble recently wrote about people making snide comments behind her back...cattiness I can manage, my theory is that you can't (and shouldn't) please all of the people all of the time. But sexual innuendo freaks me out, there's always the fear that someone may step beyond a certain boundary. And so, on occasion, I edit myself...and hate myself as I do it... |  |
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Safety first...
Today, as I got dressed, I pondered what lay ahead of me...mainly chores, the most time consuming of which involved a trip across town...from point A (a good-ish neighborhood) to point B (an "emerging" neighborhood) via point C (a slightly dodgy neighborhood). Now, as paranoid as this may sound, I decided against several perfectly good outfits because they didn't feel...safe. I don't even like myself for writing that last sentence...I am a woman, it's the 21st century, and I should be able to wear whatever I want whenever I want. End of story.
I have a theory: in western terms, the more classist and consumerist a city is the more sexual harassing for women exists.
ReplyDeleteSexual oppression exist in the western world when men restate their power (or lack of it) in front of women...It is all about power. The question is...if ALL women in NYC HATE the treatment why there is no ANY type of group assertion about it? It is really interesting that having all the power we have the bearing harassment as lifestyle continues.
I know what you mean! I live in an "emerging neighborhood" and definitely think about what I wear when I'm just walking around. In my experience though, if you're identifiably female there's nothing you can do to prevent those sort of comments.
ReplyDeleteCatcalling and the like rarely go beyond that, uncomfortable though it may be. Just ignore it. If you're traveling through truly sketchy neighborhoods, you'd do well to worry more about your personal safety than this type of annoyance - maybe try losing the big baubles and nice bag next time, which basically scream "money." Stuff like this just makes you stand out more...
ReplyDeleteIt's really horrible when people react in any kind of aggressive way, and I think that whistles and all kinds of boundary-breaking are horrible.
ReplyDeleteOnce I was on a bus and there was a drunk guy talking/shouting at a girl all the time how beautiful she was and her head was crimson and when he sat down in the seat next to her no one did/said anything and there were a lot of guys present who could have helped. I've been on the receiving end of that kind of thing as well, so I stepped in and he directed his aggression to me, which was ok, since I've learned to deal with that kind of thing to a degree. For some time I always seemed to be the "first address" for creeps out of a group of people and since I decided to toughen up about it, this has definitely declined.
Some weeks ago there was another drunk insulting the people at the bus stop individually. When he came up to me I looked him into the eyes and lifted my chin just a bit. He passed on. Even in his state he understood that his crap wouldn't work with me. Of course the situation wasn't pleasant anyway. Galadarling has written a great article about this, which is really worth reading: http://galadarling.com/article/avoiding-creeps
It really sucks that some creeps can keep women from wearing a basic skirt! I really don't want to let those people have that extent of influence on other people's life. I really understand your anger!
I do understand..I edit myself too...lots of times! people in Romania are not that used to being unique and different. they are so one way minded it hurts!
ReplyDeleteReally effective info, thanks so much for the post.
ReplyDelete