Knit one, purl two, cast off...a Christmas PSA

Another day, another undesirable Christmas gift...this time seasonally (in)appropriate knitwear, aka the ugly Christmas sweater. Anthropologists have yet to agree on when the u.c.s. first made its appearance but it's now, sadly, a festive staple...causing puzzlement and dismay to anyone who receives one...and prompting the eternal question, "why me?".

The obvious option upon receiving an u.c.s. is to immediately re-gift it to whoever offended you most during the previous year...all I can say is, if someone hurt you that badly, fire away...hit them with angora tinsel and woolen snowmen from twenty paces. If, however, you're a compassionate soul who doesn't want to make others suffer might I suggest the following alternatives...

1. Turn the knitted nightmare into a tree skirt or festive bucket cover for your Christmas tree...what didn't work on you may look great on a 6' spruce.
   
2. Unpick the sweater at the seams, throw away the sleeves, and use the elements of the sweater's body to make a tea cosy (after all, the u.c.s. was designed to keep something warm...if it's not you it might as well be your teapot).