"It snowed last year too: I made a snowman and my brother knocked it down and I knocked my brother down and then we had tea" - Dylan Thomas

Though the bandleader-meets-yeti cross-body bag...and its larger cousin, the "is that the abominable snowman on your shoulder or are you just pleased to see me?" bag...are alluring...am I the only one asking themselves who is buying an $800 tote at J Crew...and just how long it will take for the aforementioned bag to have so much dirt nestled within its curly coat that it will look like a lucky thrift store find?