"A medal is a small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic." - Ambrose Bierce

At this point in my life, I feel that it's highly unlikely that any medals will be coming my way...not being especially athletic...or heroic. Unless, that is, I decorate myself...for, um, services to shopping perhaps...with a handful of these wooden medals.

Just the thing for those of us who are all pomp, and very little circumstance...