I imagine that, every so often, the humble beaver wanders home...after a hard day chewing on trees and pushing them upstream...asking nothing more than to put his tail up and run a little dental floss through his weary incisors...when he realizes that he completely forgot to do 'a', 'b', or possibly even 'c'. I, my friends, am that Castor canadensis. For, knowing that I was facing a week of days whose sole activities were work and sleep, I pre-wrote what (in my addled mind) I considered to be enough posts to cover my blog-free period...completely managing to forget Saturday in my calculations. Hence yesterday's deafening silence...

A couple of more hours sleep is needed...during which time I will (hopefully) be dreaming of Phillip Lim's collection for next Spring...and not sleep-deprived semi-aquatic rodents.

Or is it? I'm trying to decide if blogging has made me unutterably jaded...or if, to date, the Spring/Summer '10 collections have really been (in the majority of cases) as yawn inducing as I currently imagine. Discounting Karen Walker...whose collection I could take a good stab at recreating thanks to the morass of striped tees and black blazers currently infesting my closet...the only sight that made me yearn for spring were Charles Anastase's hoop skirts... Even worse, my built-in attraction to the dark side is causing me to panic at the thought of the pastel tsunami that is destined to wash over us all come the spring...

I realize that this post may be taken as mean-spirited but I honestly don’t mean it that way...I see it more as an confirmation that, regardless of what the air-brushed, heavily Photoshop-ped images in magazines may tell us...everyone has a bad day...and, regardless of how much something may cost, it can make even the most perfect body look slightly...off.

Case in point, the utterly gorgeous Lara Stone...looking positively dumpy (and a little peeved by the fact) in not one, but two, outfits from Chanel’s Fall/Winter collection.

* Just when I was afraid that I was being uber-bitchy I read Hilary Alexander's review of the show which included the line "pink fur shrugs and sweater dresses (unfortunately given to one of the more generously-proportioned models)" and I realized that I wasn't alone in wondering what they were thinking when they put Lara into that little lot...

Some sentences that I thought I would never utter..."let's all go bungee jumping"..."these fried grasshoppers are delicious"...and "I'm looking for some bright pink Juicy sweatpants". Another sentence that I couldn't imagine coming out of my mouth was "I really like Victoria Beckham's latest collection"...yet, despite the guilty feeling that washes over me as I type this, I do. Specifically, it's the capes that have me in their grasp...they're streamlined and luxurious...futuristic (in a vintage sci-fi movie kind of way) yet classic (in an Audrey Hepburn in Charade kind of way). Oh, the shame...I just want to hide away and pig out on a big bowl of caterpillar crunch

My initial enthusiasm after seeing the images from Peter Som's show is now waning...next Fall/Winter (from a NY perspective at least) is looking dark...tacky dark at Alexander Wang (who is going to wear crocodile biker shorts...who?)...deja vu dark at Rag & Bone (as all the pieces seemed horribly familiar)...and an 80's darkness at DKNY (the color palette was bright but the pieces themselves screamed "1985 suburban department store" and were therefore about as satanically black at you could get).

Even though her color palette was muted, a bright spot was provided by Karen Walker...not that the collection had the quirky ebullience that I'd usually associate with Walker...but it included several looks that I can appreciate from an inspirational perspective (as 95% of the parts that make up the whole are currently residing in my closet). Ah, budget-friendly "closet shopping"...you have to love it.

I was somewhat afraid that all the financial doom and gloom was going to cause the Fall/Winter '09 collections to be a little...how should I say this...dull. But the future is bright...at least judging by this gloriously tacky little combo from Peter Som. I love the whole party girl-streetwalker-little girl playing dress up feel but as the entire ensemble must be going to sell for (optimistically) something in the region of $4-5,000 I'm going to have to add this to the inspiration list (as opposed to the prospective purchase list...or even the "extreme wishful thinking list").

Well, the pictures have started trickling in...and the overwhelming sensation at the beginning of New York Fashion Week is...bland. Maybe it's just the result of my current sense of ennui at the mere thought of warm weather dressing but everything seems pale...and terribly uninteresting. Thankfully there are some accessories to lust over, namely the floral and plaid studded bracelets from the Rag & Bone show. Not only delightfully girly-punk but incredibly easy to pay homage to...once I order some studs online.

I'm asking you, Mary, please Temper my hatred with peace Weave my disgust into fame And watch how fast they run to the flame - Liz Phair Forgive me father, for I have sinned...I tried to turn my back on the muted tones that I have loved for so long...but the images from the last few days in Paris have, quite firmly, shown me the error of my ways. This time, Givenchy, and its wonderfully lacy, ruffled, embellished...yet severe...collection. Very grown-up Spanish Catholic schoolgirl...but one who took a vacation to India...or am I the only one who sees the Asian influences in the golden necklaces (as opposed to 80's rapper)?

Bless you, Jean Paul Gaultier...for creating one of the few Fall/Winter collections that had me drooling over the pictures on my computer...making a mental shopping list...realizing I couldn't afford the items on the aforementioned shopping list...then coming to the swift conclusion that I would have to be devious and look for ways to incorporate the whole "dark side of Little Red Riding Hood" vibe into my wardrobe. Because this is a irresistibly meaner Red...a slinkier Red...a Red who took on the wolf and came out with a hat and some life experience. For now, I think I'll go and practice my wolf-whistles...

I'm somewhat in shock...not being a "Gucci woman", at least not as previously defined by Tom Ford...there were actually a few looks in Gucci's Fall/Winter collection that I could see myself wearing. Yes, I'm feeling a definite urge to pay homage to the Russian nesting doll this Fall... On a strange tangent, I didn't think that the heavy floral carpet that Balenciaga used on their Spring/Summer catwalk worked with the clothes but Gucci's "hotel lobby" carpet is spot-on. Of course this does raise an issue, as if I didn't have enough things to obsess over, do I now have to worry about whether I'm clashing with the floor coverings?

Fresh on the heels of Emma Cook's delicate dresses...and my bemoaning of the lack of coats on a winter runway (I know, I'm such a Practical Paula)...along comes Aquascutum and a positive embarrassment of riches coat-wise. Of course, could you really expect anything less from a company with 155 years of coats, raincoats, and trenches under its waterproof belt?

The end result of their cornucopia of coats? Three cover-ups for me to covet...

The over-sized black number with a jazzy trim on the collar...practical, roomy enough to wear over winter sweaters, yet not "just another black coat".

The puff-sleeved, shawl-collared trench...admittedly not quite as practical...

The 50's color-blocked beauty, my favorite of the three...provided I could find some elbow-length woolen gloves.

And three more that fall under the "runners up" category...

I said a little mental "Woo Hoo!" when I saw the pictures from Emma Cook's Fall/Winter collection. Partially, it's true, for the relief they provided from all the dowdy and matronly looks that have been hitting the majority of the catwalks for the last week or so. But also for the mix of patterned latex tights, Doc Martens, and lacy femininity. Tough...in a delicate way. Not that the collections screams "Winter"...if anything, it's yelling "hypothermia"...especially when viewed by someone facing yet another day of negative double-digit wind chills...but, with a warm coat, anything is possible...

Letter From London. Think of it as a London Fashion Week freebie for those of us not actually attending LFW...semi-close your eyes, squint, and you’re standing on the King’s Road...well, almost...what do you expect from a pdf?

It does have a felt-tip pen guide to “How London Works”...a look at some people behind fashion week...up-and-coming designers from Central Saint Martin’s Class of 07...and a "What I’m loving now is..." section (a selection of which are shown below). Not too bad for a virtual freebie.

Louis Vuitton's Spring/Summer collection left me shaking my head. Surely, I thought, surely I must be missing something (anything)...this cannot be as bad as it appears at first glance. Hoping to gain some insight I scanned the reviews and learned that this was another of Jacobs' collaborations with artists...though, after Sprouse and Murakami, I have to wonder if this is a case of third time not being a charm. The artist in this instance was Richard Prince who, I'm ashamed to say, I had never heard of before I read the reviews. But thanks to the joys of the world wide web I uncovered a very interesting article from 2003 on Slate's website...which includes such wonderful one-liners as "Prince's nurses are ciphers of femininity: accessible yet forbidden, wholesome yet on intimate terms with strangers' bodily fluids." But to continue...

The paragraph that I found most illuminating when taken alongside the Vuitton collection was that "there's certainly nothing new about the fetishization of nurses. The naughty nurse is one of those deeply ingrained stereotypes that just keeps surfacing—on soap operas, on Halloween, in the pages of glossy fashion magazines. But are they what we expect from Richard Prince, an artist best known for his sophisticated critiques of the insidious myths of American consumer culture? Are these paintings ironic appropriations meant to deconstruct a regressive stereotype? Or has an element of sheer pleasure snuck into the irony?".

So, was this intended as hit-them-over-the-head irony, to have an artist known for "critiquing the myths of consumer culture" create cartoon handbags that, at a minimum, must be going to retail for $5,000? If so, guess who gets the last laugh? It certainly won't be the women with the bags...or Spongebob Squarepants.

Even though coverage of this is going to be everywhere I had to post about Hussein Chalayan's presentation of his Spring/Summer collection as a short film, instead of a runway show. It may not be everyone's cup of tea...especially the soundtrack...but I loved it. To be able to follow the process step-by-step...to hear Chalayan, in his own words, discuss the ideas behind the collection...snippets from the shoot...all culminating in the film itself is a real treat.

And it's not all pretentious twaddle either, the clothes are gorgeous. As Chalayan, somewhat comfortingly, says, "at the end of the day, no matter what you say, we're trying to make beautiful clothes'. Considering some of the pieces that hit the catwalks recently that is a truly novel concept.

Thank you Garance Doré for this streetstyle picture from Paris fashion week of French Vogue's Melanie Huynh. Okay, "streetstyle" is probably a bit of a stretch to describe one of the perfectly styled Voguettes but she is standing on the street so it can slide in on a technicality. The thing that struck me is that, once again, there's nothing that can be defined as "special"...yet the combination of the basics pieces, the muted shades, and the mix of textures, is perfection.

I suppose one of the big questions on everyone minds as regards the Paris shows was, what will Nicolas Ghesquiere do for Spring/Summer 08? Well, the answer is...put out about 30 variations of the same shape, just vary the fabric...each escapee from a furniture fabric shop being even more horrendous from the last...add some overemphasized darts and stitching...and shoulders, that are quite literally, blossoming out...

I’m really shocked. This isn’t inventive or pushing the boundaries...it’s just ugly. And with the stratospheric pricing at Balenciaga, this is expensive ugly. According to Cathy Horyn, from the NY Times, this collection is “a strong fashion statement. It is what designers of Ghesquiere’s caliber are supposed to do — push our imaginations with the techniques and materials available to them.” Is that really what this is doing, or is it a case of the Emperor’s new clothes?

I’m now going to go and sit in a darkened room and remove these images from my head...which is easier said than done as they will probably feature prominently in every magazine for the next few months.

You know how it invariably goes...you ramp yourself up and get giddy with anticipation...and everything falls flat...

So imagine the ecstatic expression on my face when I saw images from Isabel Marant's Spring/Summer 08 collection and realized that I loved virtually every piece. Okay, it's not revolutionary...at least in concept...in reality there are masses of none too subtle military overtones...but it is the kind of wearable, "cute French girl" clothing that I, for one, find awfully hard to resist.

The bad news, if you are also a fan of Marant's designs, is that unless you live near a store that stocks her pieces...or are willing to order over the phone, sight unseen...you may find it difficult to get your hands on it. According to a sales assistant at a store I frequent, Marant has asked stores not to post images of her clothes on their websites in an attempt to lessen the risk of knock-offs. Which is a great idea for frustrating the efforts of counterfeiters but a little hard on the consumers. As they say, all's fair in love and war...and the fight against makers of "designer replicas".