I'm not sure why I get excited when I see pictures from upcoming H&M collections...it can't be that I have any hopes of actually purchasing/wearing any of the looks that I ogle as my local H&M invariably never stocks any of the pieces.
It must be the eternal optimist in me (quite frankly I would have thought that she'd have died of loneliness, boredom, and insecurity years ago but she's still going strong...believing in faeries at the bottom of the garden and that clothes from advertisements will magically appear on the sales racks at some point).
Even odder than this blinding optimism is the fact that these are, in H&M's own words, "pretty watercolour shades"...something which I, as a pale skin person, usually avoid like the plague as they make me look like I've got consumption...like some 17th century maiden hacking away genteelly into her lace hankie.
And yet, despite all this, there is something very alluring about H&M's spring offerings...all those ruffles and flounces and girlish florals warm the cockles of my pale little heart. Who knows, maybe the ruffled bag will make its way to my locale...darn, there goes that eternal optimism again...
I was beginning to think that my virtual collection of Karl Lagerfeld impedimenta might have hit a similarly virtual wall as it's been quite a while since I've come across any new foibles emblazoned with the Kaiser's likeness. But ask and ye shall receive...though, with this particular item, it's like asking for a toy car and being hit by a Mac truck. Ladies and gents, without further ado, I give you the uncle Karl nude shirt courtesy of House of Holland.
I know that it's de rigeur for designers to take it all off at the moment...as shown by Marc Jacobs in Harper’s Bazaar wearing a smile and very little else...but, really, does the world need naked Karl? And, now that we have him, will anyone be wearing him next summer? "Not I", said the sparrow.
As I've done pretty darned well in the sales thus far...and have spent all my spare pennies...it's time to play the "that's a good discount, what would I buy if I was going to splurge?" game.
Today's contestant is J Crew...thanks to their 30% off if you spend $200 offer. And the answer to the burning TAGDWWIBIIWGTS question...these python ballet flats. Classic, yet slightly funky, and the kind of luxe basic that makes even the most generic outfit look a little more special. I imagine Holly Golightly slipping into a pair of these when she had to run errands...
If, like me, you enjoy the (more than occasional) mocha...and if, also like me, you realize that one too many of the aforementioned mocha and none of your skirts will fit...fret not, I think I have a solution. On a recent trip to Whole Foods Mr. Heb expressed a desire for hot chocolate...obviously he wanted to channel one of those fifties tv shows where the host sits round in a v-necked cardigan, slippers, and cravat with an avuncular expression sipping a hot beverage whilst the snow falls and he sings Christmas songs...either that, or he was thirsty.
Either way, I refuse to buy sachets of h.c. (they're usually too sweet and slightly...off...versus "real" h.c. that is) so I bought a tin of Dagoba organic hot chocolate...made with OG evaporated cane juice, OG 100% cacao powder, and OG unsweetened cacao chunks. Today, thanks to a fit of boredom, I discovered that a tablespoon or so of Dagoba's h.c. in a cup of strong-ish black coffee creates a very tasty mocha-substitute. It's not as sweet as some coffee shop versions...it's definitely an R-rated, adult mocha...but considering that a grande, no-whip, mocha from Starbucks weighs in at about 300 calories and this is probably about 40 it's a way to have your cake and eat it...or at least, have your drink and zip up your skirts.
As P.G. Wodehouse used to point out, it’s imperative that you introduce the characters before you go into the narrative; otherwise your readers are left wading around in a morass of confusion. So, in that spirit, let me introduce online store A...an independent boutique, stocked with an interesting array of designers and well-chosen pieces that are highlighted by the styling; styling so good that almost every item inspires a pang of longing and even lesser articles encourage a second look. Online store B is a behemoth, with a mass of logo-emblazoned designer goods on offer and styling so uninspired that even the most lust-worthy items appear slightly lack luster.
Both stores were selling Acne’s Flaunt print skirt, with a retail price of $399. At that point the similarity ended as store A’s image of the skirt caused me to add it to my mental wish list while the photograph on site B didn’t even raise a flicker of interest. Until, that is, the sales started. Store A, as makes financial sense for this kind of retailer, is holding off on putting the skirt on sale and will, from past experience, only reduce by a marginal amount when the time comes. Store B, on the other hand, started the reductions at 40%. A further discount over the weekend slashed an additional 25% off the reduced price and offered free shipping.
Obviously I did what anyone else would do and snapped up the bargain that store B offered. I do, however, feel a sense of guilt. Without store A’s presentation and styling I probably wouldn’t have been tempted to buy the skirt and in the current financial climate I hate to think of smaller boutiques with vision losing revenue to online megalomalls. However, as I am neither a millionaire nor a philanthropist, I need to live with my guilt...well, that and my new skirt.
Mr. Heb and I have decided that, this year, we're going to try a gift-free Christmas. There'll still be food...and drink...and decorations aplenty...but there will be a Scrooge like absence of gifts. We decided upon this course of action last year when we realized that Christmas had become a little too commercial...and instead of trading gifts it merely felt like we were trading checks.
Which was all very well and good and virtuous from January through November but now I can't help but wonder what Christmas morning will be like with nothing under the tree...a feeling which probably comes from watching too many cautionary cartoons as a child...where Christmas was canceled and misery overtook the land.
Perhaps I should purchase a precautionary gift...a "break now in case of emergency gift"...an "I need to rip something utterly useless open right now" gift...like this inflatable fruitcake...inexpensive, seasonal, and providing a sense of achievement once you get it blown up. Perfect.
As I mentioned earlier in the week the first of the festive frolics (aka seasonal shindigs...aka Christmas parties) is about to hit and I am (once again) filled with trepidation over what to wear. Well, the party is almost upon me...as are several of inches of snow...temperatures below freezing...and the beginnings of a cold. So, in addition to everything else, I now require a certain degree of warmth...and footwear that can withstand the elements.
Which gives me three potential contenders. Outfit #1, a navy and blue Heimstone dress paired with some boots from J Crew which I've cuffed...I'm nicknaming this one "Puss in Boots". Outfit #2, a Marc by Marc Jacobs dress and a thin turtleneck...the code name for this one is "The Statue of Liberty wears her thermals". And outfit #3, a See by Chloe dress with a lace bib and my Heimstone perfecto jacket...otherwise known as "Biker Girl".
Given the (rather exacting) criteria which I have for this evening, which would you choose?
Although I can safely say that after my recent talon cuff splurge I am not in the market for any jewelry at the moment I couldn't resist mentioning these antique jet and gold stud earrings. More claws I'm afraid...I seem to have a definite animal fetish going at the moment...but these are so restrained, yet luxe, that I couldn't resist.
Confession...I am a jigsaw puzzle addict. I'm not quite sure why I find that such a shameful thing to admit to...I'll readily confess to my non-athleticism but somehow a love of "the jiggy" suggests a lack of activity that's positively octogenarian. Nevertheless, addict I am. And, as such, I'm always on the lookout for jiggies with designs that aren't quite so nauseatingly twee as the majority...Chocolate box lid-style landscapes and pictures of kittens are all well and good but I want a jiggy with a little something extra.
Unfortunately, in the case of this limited-edition Steven Meisel puzzle, the "extra" is the cost...all $750 of it. At seventy-five cents a piece my normal concern over losing a bit would be blown out of all proportion...
“Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, respect me, I'm a respectable grown-up, and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death” - Wendy Wasserstein
As I read the Wall Street Journal article I realized that here was yet another nerdy hobby that I could associate myself with...shopping bag collecting. In a way, it's a relief...it's always good to know that there are others like you (though I won't be joining the flickr group).
I can honestly say that I have hoarded "the paper"...or, for that matter, "the plastic"...since I was a teenager. I remember storing my bags by hanging them on a hat stand...overlapping so that nothing could be seen of the stand, or most of the underlying bags. It was a dust-trap...it was, most certainly, a fire hazard...and it looked disturbingly like the bogey-man if you woke up in the middle of the night and happened to look that way...but it was also, in its own way, a way of holding onto memories...
A Joseph bag with one of Pamela Hanson's seductive yet strong women moodily staring out from its one dimensional depths would recall a trip to London (and probably the purchase of an over-sized sweater)...Katherine Hamnett's austere yet comforting brown paper bags (another trip to London, another memory...walking across the glass bridge in her Norman Foster designed Brompton Road store to reach the austere wasteland behind).
Thanks to various moves these bags only exist for me now in memory...and thanks to Mr. Heb and his love of "de-cluttering" a similar collection will not begin again...though there are a few bags sneakily stored in a drawer somewhere...
I suppose it's fitting that the Los Angeles County Museum of Art is the only US venue for the exhibition of Vanity Fair Portraits: Photographs 1913–2008 however I have no plans to be in LA before March 1st (when the exhibition moves on) so I feel slightly miffed. If only because I would dearly like to see Edward Steichen's "A Much Screened Lady — Gloria Swanson" in the...um...flesh (so to speak).
This one photograph encapsulates why I watch so many "old" movies (and am so vague when it comes to current releases)...though she's not classically beautiful her eyes are mesmerizing...she grabs your attention and won't let go.
From now on I feel like I only want to be photographed in black and white...and preferably behind a curtain of lace.
As I was (virtually) wandering around Urban Outfitters I came across these boots and thought "oh my gosh, those look exactly like the LD Tuttle Nebula boots I have been lusting over (while at the same time realizing they are logistically impossible) for quite some time now".
Then I clicked through for more detail and discovered that they are...well, almost. Colonial Madness (and what Brit can resist that name?) is a collaboration between UO and LD. And while I still cannot imagine being able to negotiate a four and three quarter inch heel...or the accompanying quarter inch platform...I love a bargain (and hope someone takes advantage of it and buys these puppies...pronto).
It began innocently enough, I'd spotted an incredible cardboard rocket playhouse and wanted to find a recording of Rocket Man to go with it in a post...then I was hit by the power of Shatner. What can I say? Apart from...people complain about the entertainment value of awards shows now...imagine being at the 1978 Sci-Fi Awards and being faced with this...it's like one of those ritual suicides you hear about...seppuku by song.
And now, my playhouse is tainted...which is just as well because I'd never manage to cram myself into a 5' high cardboard rocket. Well, not with any level of comfort.
“A witch and a bitch always dress up for each other, because otherwise the witch would upstage the bitch, or the bitch would upstage the witch, and the result would be havoc” - Tennessee Williams
The party season is upon us...a fact that brings me both joy and misery...I love a good shindig but loathe small-talk. There's also an additional, depressing, point...when it comes to outfits...I'm not really a "dress-up" kind of girl. By that I mean that although I own sparkly things...and (faux) fur wraps...and (probably too dressy for daytime) dresses...I always feel like I have nothing to wear when it comes to parties. Or, to be more accurate, I generally feel like party dressing never reflects "me"...there's always a slight discomfort, like I'm playing dress-up.
So, with the first holiday party of the season just around the corner, my goal is to put together something vaguely festive yet reflective of my personal style...
I like the image that I found of China Chow...a luxe t-shirt and an ethereal skirt...you feel the personality behind the clothing. Obviously I need to raid my closet and play dress-up...hopefully I'll have some time before this weekend.
I think I may have discovered the most un-pc...bizarre...least appealing chocolate-y treat ever created...pygmy hippopotamus, mountain gorilla, and a koala bear mounted heads. Yep...chocolate taxidermy.
"And why was this created?", you ask. The answer is...for the World Society for the Protection of Animals. Why some misguided chocolatier decided the portrayal of stuffed, dead animal heads in candy would prompt people to go save an endangered species is too much for my small brain to fathom. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Well, another Black Friday has been and gone...but did I fall prey to the insidious come-hither glances that I received (via email) from APC, Satine, and a host of others telling me about their massive price reductions...did I? No, I did not. Idiot that I am I fell prey to not one, but two, items that were full price.
I'm really rather ashamed of myself...I've been attempting (a version of) frugal living...and have a watch list of items that I would be interested in if their prices fall beyond a certain point...and yet...I was completely unable to restrain myself and perform any kind of rational thinking. Which is odd (in addition to being demoralizing) as when Susie Bubble wrote about Central Saint Martins graduate, Simone Shailes' collection for Topshop I thought it was lovely but it didn't ignite a fire of longing. Yet when I was trolling their site and spotted her looped, navy blue turtleneck it seemed so perfect...twistedly classic and classically twisted...like a man's fisherman's sweater run gloriously amok...that I was unable to resist.
And, if that was bad enough, I then decided to take a stroll through their "Premium" section before checking out...do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not play this game without a chaperone...and found a cheerful star scarf which proved equally irresistible.
This seems to be bird week...from those cast in bronze...to those served on a plate...so I couldn't resist rounding out the triumvirate with "those that sit around your need and look luxuriously gothic"...as if Poe's raven had metamorphosed into fashionable form.
I've only done a recipe post once before but it seemed to go well (well, no one complained about food poisoning) so I'm trying another one...it helps that duck also takes 5 hours to cook so I've got some time to kill. This time I'm sharing my favorite appetizer...mini-BLTs. I know what you're going to say..."that's not very fancy"...but trust me, if you have a selection of appetizers these things will disappear before anything else.
What you need: A Pepperidge Farm Sandwich loaf (or a similar doughy, white, thinly-sliced, bread) An iceberg lettuce Some tomatoes Bacon (good bacon with more meat than fat) Mayonnaise Salt & Pepper (not the hip-hop group from the 80's...the condiment)
What you do: Take a slice of bread and roll it with a rolling pin until it is as thin as possible. Using a cookie cutter, cut two rounds from the slice (each round will be about 1.5" in diameter). Keep going until all that remains of the loaf is a pile of circular cut-outs and a smaller pile of bread cast-offs.
Take a 24 hole muffin tray and place a bread round in each hole...press each one into the tray so it becomes cup shaped. Place the tray into a pre-heated 350 degree oven for about 7-8 minutes (until the cups are brown and crisp).
Meanwhile...fry the bacon. Chop the bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes into the smallest pieces possible...I have to warn you that by the time you have done this with two of the three main ingredients you will be ready to kill yourself...ignore this feeling, it fades as soon as you start eating.
Combine the B...the L...and the T in a bowl, along with a tablespoon or so of mayonnaise. Add some freshly ground salt and pepper and mix together.
Remove your bread cups from the oven and let cool slightly then place on a serving plate...fill each cup with the BLT mixture.
That's it...you could, of course, miniaturize any sandwich in this manner...mini-clubs, mini-egg mayonnaise, mini-prawn cocktail...even mini-PBJB (peanut butter/jelly/bacon) for those who like a sweet and savory mix.
Whether you're having turkey...Tofurky (enc et al)...duck (that would be the Hebden household)...or any other "big bird"...here's wishing all the U.S. folks a Happy Thanksgiving!
For everyone else, have a great Thursday and be thankful that you won't be regretting all that pigging out come Friday morning...
Well, my talon cuff has arrived, finally. Honestly, I don't think I've worked so hard to make a purchase in my life...it has, after all, taken six weeks to get here...and the final delivery was a decidedly inauspicious (somehow when I spend this much on a piece of jewelry I expect something more in the way of packaging than a layer of tissue paper inside a FedEx envelope).
Gripes aside though, it is gorgeous...the gold is brighter than I'd anticipated but I'm assuming that it will dull and mellow with age and wearing. And I do plan on wearing it...everywhere (despite Mr. Heb's assertion that it looks like I'm being attacked by a large bird)...probably with my grandmother's antique signet ring (which seems to be a good pairing, though you can't tell from my awful photographs).
The photographs do not belong to me (except the ones I personally shot.) All photos are only used by commenting purposes and none are used for commercial reasons.
The avatar image used for this blog was taken by Ryan Robinson.
