Lord Byron once said, “It was one of the deadliest and heaviest feelings of my life to feel that I was no longer a boy. From that moment I began to grow old in my own esteem”. Personally I’ve long maintained that a childish love of cartoons can stay the signs of aging in a far superior manner to the daily application of SPF15 (though the effects are slightly mitigated when you are discovered chortling...by a client...in an airport lounge...to the antics of Scooby Doo).

Spanish Elle was obviously in a similarly Peter Pan frame of mind for their April issue. For contained within its pages, thanks to freelance Disney artist Ulrich Schröder, are Karl Lagerfeld, John Galliano, Marc Jacobs, John Paul Gaultier, Dolce & Gabbana, Donnatella Versace, and others...all, in comic form. Lagerfeld manages to get past the three little pigs with nary a huff or a puff, John Galliano enchants Captain Hook and Peter Pan, and Alber Elbaz creates a ruffled, red ensemble for an obviously enchanted Minnie Mouse.


There may not be a fountain of youth but there may potentially be a ‘mildly regressive comic strip of fewer grey hairs and the occasional missing wrinkle”.

For the longest time I was a frightened flyer...a manic gripper of armrests (I still blush at the memory of a particularly stressful take-off when I failed to notice that the stranger next to me had laid claim to the armrest...until, that is, we were safely in the air and I realized that my fingernails had gouged divots out of the back of his hand)...a nervous wreck for several days before and after any air travel.

Then I got a job where I found myself in the air several times a month...and one day...as I was watching the cloud formations...the mountains, the deserts, and the farm land far below...the anxiety dissipated. Admittedly it wasn't just a zen-like love of nature...a selection of movies on my iTouch helped as well...but, for a chocolate-box-feel-good-moment, I've found that few things beat the ever-so-fleeting-yet-momentarily-perfect combination of cloud, land, sky, and sun.

Of course, palm trees and over-sized fireplaces at your destination also help to instill a certain sense of peace...

Purchases of 'almost identical' shoes can be rationalized on a few occasions...say when it's a pair of black ballet flats which differ (ever so slightly) from the host of other b.b.f.s littering the bottom of your closet. It's more difficult (for me at least) when the footwear in question is another pair of Minnetonka Moccasins...yes, this pair are a rather dreamy sage grey which would work well with dark denim or the taupe-y shades that I can't seem to stop buying at the moment...but do I need another pair? Sadly, the answer is no...

It's time to strike yourself in the head and emit a Homer-esque "d'uh"...cartoon character rather than ancient Greek epic poet...when you come to the realization that you successfully managed to figure out a footwear conundrum in your teens and then repressed it in the intervening years...deciding to spend your time searching for other shoes to fill the self-inflicted void. Case in point...my annual search for summer shoes that are comfortable enough to walk around town in yet not blindingly ugly...could have been solved by falling back on the espadrilles that I wore as a teen. All together now..."D'UH!"

Between Mark Twain and the bag there's really very little left to say...

I tried, unsuccessfully, to convince myself that Sigerson Morrison's sandal bootie...sanootie...boodal...whatever you want to call it...would be infinitely more practical than a sandal this summer. I ran through the mental checklist. Still possible for inner klutz to stub toes on any hard surface in the near vicinity...check. Still possible for every pebble and small stone within a 5 mile radius to find its way inside my shoe...check. Still horribly impractical given that a "short walk" for Mr. Heb and myself generally turns into a 10 mile death march...check. Still kind of want them despite all of that...and their ridiculous failed-experiment-of-Dr. Moreau quality...double check. A couple of aspirin and the fever should pass...

I've always rather liked the Victorian calling card concept......whiskered gents...and their corseted ladies...visiting friends...and leaving a card to commemorate the fact...and gently remind them that a reciprocal visit was now in order...as detailed in this extract from the book Decorum, published in 1877, "Visitors should furnish themselves with cards. Gentlemen ought simply to put their cards into their pocket, but ladies may carry them in a small elegant portfolio, called a card-case. This they can hold in their hand and it will contribute essentially (with an elegant handkerchief of embroidered cambric) to give an air of good taste."

With the updated version...All Occasions Cards...available from Brooklyn based design trio You And Me The Royal We...your bases are covered...from "thank you"...to "sorry"...to "fuck you"...you can make your feelings perfectly clear, without a word being spoken. How wonderfully, passive-aggressively, early 20th century.

I realize that, by this stage, everyone is probably "over" rabbit ears (assuming, that is, that they were even "into" them in the first place) but Benoît Missolin's structured silhouettes...in glass or metal thread...were so charming (even understated, if large rabbit ears could ever be deemed as such) that I couldn't resist posting a couple of images...

"We search the world for truth;
We cull the good, the pure, the beautiful,
From all old flower fields of the soul;
And weary seekers of the best,
We come back laden from our quest,
To find that all the sages said,
Is in the Book our mothers read" - John Greenleaf Whittier

I like to think...when I'm feeling particularly upbeat...that through this mass of incoherent ramblings I am, on occasion, adding another piece to the puzzle of my personal style. And that despite all the bright, shiny, limited edition things that try to grab my attention (and money) this blog enables me to get a clearer idea of what I actually want (on a long-term basis) as opposed to want (in the manner of a child reaching for a shiny balloon).

Sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't. Often I write about things and find that, after I've written out my desires, they're diminished. Other times the written word makes the longing stronger...generally a sign that something is for keeps. So it was with the canvas and leather work bag...one of those deep-seated desires because it made so much long-term sense. Yes, I could have bought a nylon backpack and lugged everything around...or I could have used my "winter" work bag (so called because, no matter how lovely, just looking at flannel makes me feel hot once the warmer weather arrives)...but if you have to tote your life, and several pounds of electronic gadgets, around with you on a daily basis shouldn't it be a pleasurable experience (from a practical, tactile, and visual perspective)?

As you may have guessed by this point...I found my bag (now sold out in the brown leather online). Obscenely large...thick hemp and linen instead of canvas...with rich, yet durable, leather on the base and detailing. Able to be thrown over my shoulder...or carried by hand. A handbag and, in a pinch, a weekend bag as well. And something that I can see myself using for years to come...

It's a little hard to explain to friends that your first thought...upon catching sight of some gingham picnic plates...is not along the lines of how much cheerier your summer picnics would be if your sandwiches were piled upon them...and, instead, is more of the "how very Christopher Kane S/S 2010" variety. Having said that, they are a darned sight more interesting that the rather bland plastic platters currently residing in my picnic basket...

I always seem to fall prey to enticingly packaged wonder-goops in the Spring and Fall...weakened, as I am at those times, by the effects of harsh winter winds or the sneaky UV rays which managed to get past my layers of SPF...there's a general feeling in my subconscious that, with the application of wonder-goop X, some of the damage could be reversed.

A good portion of this is, of course, in the mind...but, as long as the mind stays on the reasonably priced cliffs and doesn't take a nose-dive into the abyss of $200 min-pots of goop...it's a relatively harmless pastime that does, on occasion, show results.

This season's w-g is Kiehl's Ltd. Edition Açaí Damage-Protecting Toning Mist. Acai...aka the Brazilian "super berry"...aka one of nature’s most powerful antioxidants...aka an ingredient that I don't enjoy the taste of (despite the best attempts of companies who seem to be adding it to every food or beverage with the word 'health' in the title) but am more than willing to spritz on my face. According to the blurb, the mist will (with daily use) help protect cells from the destructive effects of oxidation, improve the look of radiance and rejuvenation to skin, tighten pores, and clarify and balance skin’s texture.

While I haven't been using it long enough to substantiate any of these claims I can say that it smells lovely...causes the skin to tingle in a most satisfying manner...and scratches my wonder-goop itch for this season.

* Today's quote is by Robert Motherwell

I'm going to blame the horrifically bad Bananarama pun above on the cough medicine that I am downing to try and beat the spring cold that I managed to catch. Why is is that warm weather colds are so much more depressing than their cold weather brethren? Brown top - Max Studio, v-neck - Club Monaco, cardigan - J Crew, crewelwork skirt - Nicole Farhi, suede Chelsea boots - Frye, bag - Miu Miu

I'd love this little number from Paul Smith purely because it gave me the rare opportunity to work "fly pin tie pin" into a sentence...the fact that it's also adorable is pure gravy. Though it's not technically a tie pin...it could be that...or a kilt pin...a very fancy diaper closer...or a myriad of other things more decorative than useful...

The weekend...the park...the pub...the realization that my new-ish camera has a black and white setting...and the accompanying lesson that reading the manuals and instruction booklets that accompany these things is probably a good idea.

Despite my fixation with bad 70's television...as evinced by the Fantasy Island and Charlie's Angels dvds lurking in a drawer...I've never seen the particular episode of Love Boat whose credits I found on YouTube...though the mind does boggle at the sort of fashionable fun that Geoffrey Beene, Bob Mackie, Gloria Vanderbilt, and a determined-to-look-suave-rather-than-grin-at-the-camera-like-everyone-else Halston could have on the high seas.

Of course, all of this forms part of one of my usual nonsensical tangents...by which a rope-y love ring leads to thoughts of sailors and romance...which of course leads to Captain Stubing, Doctor Bricker, and Julie the Cruise Director.

A lazy day...and tickets for a boxing match this evening. My first time seeing it live and my only reference (apart from television) is the 1941 movie, Shadow of the Thin Man..."Hey, look at the dame in the screwy hat!" I fear I am doomed to be disappointed... Plaid shirt - Zara, skirt - Alice Ritter, glitter flats - Me Too, vintage wire bracelet

For all the time that I spend on my laptop I've never actually done much (unless you count the sticky dots that I added in a fit of boredom) in the way of embellishing it...which is odd considering that I'll add crap...I mean thoughtfully purchased and deeply meaningful ephemera...no, I admit it, I mean crap...to most inanimate objects and flat surfaces.

Some of the fruits of the collaboration between Urban Outfitters and Society6 (a global collective of artists) though are making me wonder if it isn't time to peel off the paper dots and replace them with something a little jazzier.

It has to be said...there are a lot of visually utilitarian bags out there (for, as I mentioned a couple of days ago, the mix of leather and canvas makes me think 'hard-working, functional, utility')...that are completely useless. Useless because they fail to meet at least one of the three prerequisites that I require from a bag which I'm going to use for work and travel...

1. It must be large enough to hold a laptop, camera, iTouch, all the assorted cables and peripherals that allow the aforementioned technology to work, notebooks, wallet, phone, a vintage pulp fiction novel...and all the other odds and sods that are necessary on a daily basis.
2. It must be well constructed...it will be jammed under airplane seats...thrown down in frustration onto airport floors after I've walked a few miles from gate A to ZZZZ lugging it and a bag of clothes...and generally mistreated.
3. It must...and here's the major issue that I'm having at the moment as I browse round various website...it must close. Almost every bag I've found is either wide open (with one small inner pocket, large enough to hold your keys and not much else)...or "fastened" by one small magnet or button. Apart from the risk of your bag falling over and your belonging flying hither and thither...does no one worry about pickpockets anymore? I may just be a paranoid little Scot but isn't a gaping bag pretty much an open invitation for someone to grab your wallet?

And that's how things stand...I'm being taunted by bags that are visually appealing yet ineffectual. Am I really asking for so much?

From top to bottom: Balenciaga large Sunday tote, Makr's natural canvas tote with undyed Horse Front (HF) leather straps, canvas and leather tote - handmade in Japan, Banana Republic's leather and linen tote

What fun would spring be without the reversion to almost freezing temperatures just at the moment when your body has started to acclimatize itself to the unexpected warmth? Just the day for layers...and textures...corduroy...and suede... Pleather jacket - H&M, sweatshirt - APC, cashmere and lace scarf, corduroy jodphurs - Maria Cornejo, boots - Russell & Bromley, suede clutch - Mulberry

It's been a while since I've posted any recipes but I made what I'm going to call 3.14159265ella...and, as it turned out rather well, I thought I'd add another thrilling installment to the food and drink portion of this blog. The reason for the name change is not just to protect the innocent...but to indicate that this is by no means supposed to be an authentic paella...purely something that satisfies the craving for paella whilst being simple (and fast) to prepare.

The ingredients...

• Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 3/4 of a pound)
• Chorizo
• A red pepper
• A red onion
• A small can of peas (I buy the kind with no added salt)
• Olive oil
• One bag of Vigo saffron yellow rice
  

The directions...

• Prepare the rice according to the directions on the back of the bag (this will take about 25 minutes - precisely the amount of time you need to take care of everything else)
• Heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil in a wok or deep frying pan on medium/high heat
  
• Add some diced red onion and saute until soft
• Cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces and add to the pan...continue cooking for about 5 minutes
• While the chicken is cooking, cut some chorizo into small cubes...I use about 1.5 inches of sausage (a slightly unfortunate turn of phrase but the best way I could describe the amount)
• Add the chorizo to the pan
  
• Add some diced red pepper to the pan
• A couple of minutes before the rice is ready, drain the can of peas and add them to the mix
• When the rice is cooked, add it to the pan containing the other ingredients and stir over the heat for a few minutes
  

And that's it...buen apetito!

Old Navy is one of those stores where you need plenty of time...a willingness to plow through piles of ill-fitting pants and vaguely maternity-esque dresses and tops...the ability to disregard boundaries and cross over the aisles into the menswear department...and then, when you least expect it, you find something that you know you will wear into the ground. Like...this army green linen shirt...the bastard child of Goldie Hawn in Private Benjamin and Balmain in Paris Vogue...hovering around the $20 mark...and something that I can see becoming a summer staple.

"Thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees,
In some melodious plot
of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease." - John Keats

You could blame it on the "Celine effect"...yet every spring for the last few years, right around this time, I've felt a craving for a summer wardrobe that was more simplistic...because, isn't that what summer should be? The sand under your feet...grass too, after a picnic...but nothing forced...everything simple and at ease.

You could also blame it on Mr. Heb's bookbinding bag...utilitarian, but incredibly heavy even when empty...from Klein Tools...

...but I find myself consumed by a yearning for a new bag. Canvas...or linen...and leather...screaming of summer (in a subtle way).

"To be successful, keep looking tanned, live in an elegant building (even if you're in the cellar), be seen in smart restaurants (even if you nurse one drink) and if you borrow, borrow big." - Aristotle Striped top - Dover Street Market, skirt - See by Chloe, suede Chelsea boots - Frye, suede bag - Tila March

So many people have clicked through on the link for the Steven Alan dress that I felt the need to do a quick update and let you know that it has been returned. What was airy and summery in LaGarconne's images was depressingly blousy and mumsy in real life. The print was lovely...the fabric, a little more diaphanous than anticipated...but things went down hill from there...actually, on ladies with a flatter chest this would probably be a lovely dress...on anyone else there's more than a hint of busty milkmaid. The search continues...

"The rude sea grew civil at her song,
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres
To hear the sea-maid's music." - William Shakespeare

Some gardening books may tell you that the way to encourage growth is to talk to your plants...or play a little music. I offer another suggestion...deride them in print. For no sooner did I suggest that my seeds were a little lacking in the germination department than three of them decided to put on a spurt and break soil. Unfortunately, due to a lack of foresight when it came to labeling, I can't say at this stage whether I'm welcoming peas or tomatoes into the world... Sailor hat - James Lock & Co, sunglasses - Prada, dress - Gap, scarf - Muji, peacoat - Gap, flats - Jones the Bootmaker

Just because...it's Easter...and I became so frustrated by all of the seeds that I planted but which refuse to germinate (lazy little buggers, everything that Mr. Heb planted on the same day has thrust its head above the soil)...I bought some of my favorite flowers...Ranunculus.

Though "shower" is a little mild for the downpour that greeted me about ten minutes into my walk...if more water equates to more foliage and growth this spring will be a bloomin' marvel. Trench - Built by Wendy, striped pullover - American Apparel, jeans - Zara, hi-tops - Converse

Initially, the foray into American Apparel had been occasioned by the urge to get a closer look at their lace t-shirts...an urge soon quenched by the particularly cheap, don't-stand-too-near-to-an-open-flame-or-we'll-have-to-call-the-fire-brigade, quality of the fabric. Of course, once you're in the store it's only polite to have a wander around...especially if you're a stripe junkie and have just spotted a classic Breton heavy-weight pullover across the aisle.

The struggle...well, the pathetic momentary qualm over whether I could rationalize yet another stripe-y top that I'm going to call a "struggle"...was short. The walk to the register was fast...in case I received come hither glances from any other striped paraphernalia. Once there I found myself reaching for a bottle of taupe-y nail polish...whose name pretty much sums it up...ladies and gentlemen, I am a Mouse.

Spring is "in the air"...I know this, not just because of the date...or because the temperatures are swerving violently between freezing and tropical, but because I've recently found myself staring at straw hats in the same way that an escapee from the health farm looks at a pastry shop window full of cream cakes. There's lust in my eyes...but it's okay...because hats, in addition to their purely stylistic virtues, provide sun coverage...and can therefore be regarded as 'protection'...both from wrinkles, and from less benign manifestations of sun damage.

Object of lust #1...this rather snazzy mixture of masculine trilby and feminine floral...courtesy of Borsalino. As always, objects of lust numbers 2-infinity shall follow...

Normally, any sort of 'themed' emails that invade my Inbox are soon consigned to the Trash...there being only so many leprechauns, love hearts, or jovial Santas that I can face in the course of a day...but Urban Outfitters had me with the subject line "Flying Hedgehogs"...the fact that the accompanying image actually featured elevated Erinaceinae just sealed the deal (regardless of the tinge of "please buy something" desperation that accompanies an April Fool's discount).

Usually I feel slightly guilty when I fall for something on one site (generally because the styling is better) but buy it from another (generally because it's less expensive) yet, in this instance, I feel no shame. Why, you ask? Because...after searching for a white-yet-not-blindingly-white-that-I'll-look-like-a-ghost dress for the past few summers I finally spotted this on La Garconne...

With an ikat print to break up all that pristine white-ness it was absolutely perfect...were it not for the minor issue that the only size available on La G was petite (and, while I may be a lot of things, at 5'11" petite is not one of them)...odd as the dress was relatively new to the site...selling out of a larger size is one thing...not stocking it in the first place is another.

So, over to Steven Alan I went...based on their pictures I probably wouldn't have looked twice at the dress but, thanks to La G, it's winging its way to me as we speak...

The above quote comes courtesy of P.D. James...my frustration comes from Blogger's limit on the number of characters in a title... Dress - Mono, t-shirt - Muji, jeans - Zara, moccasins - Minnetonka, bracelet - Cost Plus

"It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic,
Of all things physical and metaphysical,
Of all things human and all things super-human,
Of all true manifestations of the head,
Of the heart, of the soul,
That the life is recognizable in its expression,
That form ever follows function. This is the law." - Louis Sullivan

Every so often, you come across something that is so beautifully designed...so perfectly utilitarian...that you just have to stop and admire it...

Even if you don't own a pet...or your idea of "the great outdoors" is a walk in the park...and you therefore have absolutely no use for an oiled cotton collapsible dog bowl...

When I relegated my Converse lo-tops to the trash can recently I was assuming that replacing them would be a no-thought-click-and-buy kind of deal (Chuck Taylor fanatic that I am)...yet I find myself on the irritatingly uncomfortable horns of a dilemma. On the one hand (or should that be horn?)...the waif-ish charms of the Chuck Taylor All Star Slim...on the other...the more rugged, durable, and dare I say slightly more adult, distressed leather of Frye's Kira Low Tops.

Annoyingly, I'm vacillating between the two...between what I know...what is, after all these years, a part of "me"...and the thrill of the new. A battle (inside my head) between "skateboarder" and "wealthy Italian vacationer" (the classifications are of course, once again, inside my head)...and you know, just this once, I think that the "wIv" may be winning out...

"To make a good salad is to be a brilliant diplomatist -- the problem is entirely the same in both cases. To know exactly how much oil one must put with one's vinegar." - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who's been visiting here for a while will be aware that I have a slight fascination with the sheer volume of "stuff" that bears the name, or face, of Karl Lagerfeld. Though this ephemera appears with almost disturbing regularity it's not often enough to form the basis of a drinking game...at this point it's more like train spotting...I've got the Lagerfeld $140,000 champagne case in my notebook...and the limited edition Bûche de Noël...one more food and drink related item and I can indulge in an anorak wearing snort of nerd-dom.

And here we go..."heh, heh, snort"...my food-y trifecta has been accomplished thanks to the Insalata Karl Lagerfeld...available only at Paris’ La Gioia restaurant (or at its sister site in Saint Tropez)...and featuring Alaskan king crab, Sicilian olive oil, bread crusts, sea salt, black pepper, and lemon juice.

Of course, like any true collector I want to add to my set, my eyes are now on a main course...so if anyone hears about a Lagerfeld tv dinner, let me know...