I was going to say "Happy Halloween to all of my US readers"...but a trip around the web suggests that Halloween...and its attendant excess of candy and adult costumes prefaced by the word 'sexy'...has migrated across the globe...so this is now just a general Hallows' Eve greeting (and a chance to showcase my rather useless pumpkin carving skills).
| The other day I went into a store and was horrified to see that the staff were busy hanging Christmas decorations...now, I'm as full of Yuletide spirit as the next person but October is way too early to start seeing Santa Claus...let me at least get through Halloween before you start assaulting my sense with the tinny tones of Jingle Bells played through a PA system. The only upside that I can find to Octo-Xmas is that it gives me extra time to discover interesting gifts...like this 3D Swine Anatomy Model. The downside is that I now have to rack my brain to figure out the ideal recipient for the aforementioned swine-in-a-box. |  |
It’s been a while since I ventured into H&M...something for which there are numerous reasons, not least of which are the opposing forces of my attempt to be “good” and go for quality over quantity versus the knowledge that I am extremely weak-willed when I actually have something in my hot little hands. It’s a case of...online shopping equating to nerves of steel (or at least a relatively strong plastic)...whilst its real life counterpart can be viewed more in terms of a vaguely solid blancmange.
My fears were realized when I stumbled out of the store clutching a carrier bag containing not one but two purchases...both of which, I hasten to add, I am very fond of...but feel slightly guilty for having fallen prey to (even though I know that, in addition to the aforementioned wobbly will, I have a five year old's addiction to the embellished and shiny things of life).
| I seem to have been traveling quite a bit recently...correction, I have been on the road a lot, and will be hitting it once again when I travel to Houston this weekend...which means I need all the travel-friendly entertainment I can get my hands on. If I had a companion in my wanderings I'd buy this miniature backgammon set (doubly alluring thanks to its anti-plastic real wood and metal appeal)...unfortunately I'm traveling solo...and while I might make friends trying to find someone in the departure lounge who's willing to roll the dice there's also a chance (in the current climate) that I could get arrested. Probably safer to stick (somewhat antisocially) with a book and my iTouch... |  |
| I walk so often, late, along the streets, Lower my gaze, and hurry, full of dread, Suddenly, silently, you still might rise And I would have to gaze on all your grief With my own eyes, While you demand your happiness, that's dead. I know, you walk beyond me, every night, With a coy footfall, in a wretched dress And walk for money, looking miserable! Your shoes gather God knows what ugly mess, The wind plays in your hair with lewd delight--- You walk, and walk, and find no home at all. - Hermann Hesse Coat - APC, jeans - Joes, leopard scarf - APC, bag - Louis Vuitton, hi-tops - Converse |  |
I can usually tell when Fall has finally fallen...not because the leaves are turning red and yellow and throwing themselves with mad abandon from all the trees in the neighborhood...or that the radiators in our building have sprung to life and are therefore hissing and bubbling merrily to themselves while I type...no, I recognize the changing of the seasons by the fact that my nest feathering gene (which is dormant for the majority of the year) kicks in.
With the n.f.g. coursing through my veins I start to get excited about normally yawn-inducing topics like...napkins. Specifically these beauties...which come in a selection of lush floral patterns...are 100% cotton...and, amazingly, are a mere $2.99 each from Cost Plus.
| Another day...another pumpkin carving party...is it wrong to obtain this much childish glee from dismembering gourds? Plaid shirt - H&M, lion sweatshirt - APC, scarf - Harald, skirt - See by Chloe, talon cuff - Pamela Love, rubber riding boots |  |
It's a terrible cliché I know...nautical stripes...a Burberry trench...and a French Vogue stylist thrown in for good measure. I may be biased (based on the number of Breton stripes and trenches battling for breathing room in my closet) but, compared to the lemming-like rush for the new and the novel, is a stylish stereotype such a bad thing?
 | Much as the futility of lusting over a pair of shoes that would, quite literally, kill me is extremely irksome (both to me and, I have to assume, you) I'm going to indulge in a few minutes of unrequited passion over these suede Mary Janes from Prada. All the practicality of lug soles and crepe...mixed with un-winter-worthy suede and 4½" heels (otherwise known as the design element which would lead to my swift demise)...in a sexy librarian lumberjack combination. Like I said...I'm in love... |
| When it comes to carving the Halloween pumpkin people generally fall into two groups..."the artists", who try to turn ten inches of gourd into a temporary work of art...and "the hacks", who are filled with the childlike joy of the season and whose end result usually looks like it was created by a slightly myopic six year old. I, my friends, am a hack...and, once again, some poor pumpkin is going to sacrifice itself so that I can have a few hours of aimless fun... Mickey skull sweater - Lucien Pellat-Finet, floral skirt - Cacharel/Liberty, Chelsea boots - Frye |  |
| Apologies to those in the US...I'm not much of a television watcher so, for all I know, the ads for L'Oreal's Colour Riche lipstick could have been running for a while now...my first viewing was last night and I was struck by the claim that the lipstick contained "Anti-Aging Serum". Now...it may...then again it may not...my concern is using a fountain of youth claim to schill a lipstick. Tell me it will make me look seductive...or innocent...or any of the variety of possibilities in between...but don't, I beg of you, try to sell me on the idea that the aging process will somehow be miraculously halted by one little lipgloss. |  |
| After a couple of abortive attempts...including a case of unrequited Tuttle love...and a battle of wills with Dr. Martens' sizing (too small, too large, too much hassle to try and get a pair that actually fit)...I've finally found a pair of boots to see me through the winter. Frye's Chelsea boots fulfill my remit of being able to be worn with pants or dresses and...added bonus (something that shouldn't be surprising but is these days)...they're comfortable (and not in the "must run out and buy some insoles now" kind of way...these actually have squishy insoles built-in). Suddenly winter dressing seems an easier proposition... |  |
| My wardrobe choices seem to turn very British when its raining...all waterproof layers, traditional brands, and the requisite stiff upper lip as I skip through the puddles... Waterproof parka - Barbour, sweater - Nicole Farhi, greased pants - H Chalayan, rubber riding boots, necklace - Emporio Armani, croc-embossed bag - Mulberry |  |
Nothing says "have yourself a creepy little Christmas" like twenty or thirty darkly satanic elves wielding candles...which roughly translates to the fact that I'm trying to decide if I want to blow my entire Christmas-tree-and-sparkly-bauble budget on a gang of manic depressive cast iron elves...because (and here's the rub) a mere one or two wouldn't cut it...it's a cast of thousands shuffling down my dining room table past the Christmas goose or nothing...
| In a bag-related way I mentioned my preference for the marriage of tradition and Mulberry earlier today...something that carries over with this jacket...from one of the first clothing collections that they put out...waxed cotton (a la Barbour) with a leather collar and elbow patches. Combined with LV's Speedy (possibly the most waterproof of bags) this is my ultimate "utilitarian rainy day ensemble"... Waxed jacket - vintage Mulberry, scarf - vintage Moschino, jeans - Joe's, hi-tops - Converse, Speedy bag - Louis Vuitton |  |
| Someone has finally answered the prayers of the expensive-handbag-loving-geek...thereby proving that no minority group is too small to fall under the marketing radar...and setting my pulse racing as I freely admit membership in the e.h.l.g. club. Unfortunately I could only find one picture from the upcoming Mulberry/Apple collaboration...which will see nine of Mulberry's bags fitted with tech friendly extras like laptop padding and eyelet holes for headphones...a Bayswater in a (for me) rather unappealing black patent. I like my Mulberry classic and have my fingers crossed for aged leather...the perfect mix of technology and tradition. |  |
| It's amazing how attuned...yet out of tune...your mind can become. In my case, the poor little thing seems to have been brainwashed by Balmain's exorbitant pricing ($12,500 for a jacket, $14,000 for a dress, $3,000 for jeans) to such an extent that it's first thought when faced with a $1,900 quilted leather handbag was "that's not a bad price"...meaning, albeit depressingly, that that's about standard for a designer bag these days and one would expect Balmain's bags to be as over-the-top pricewise as the rest of their wares. Thankfully it's second thought was how completely unappealing said bag actually is... |  |
"Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it" - Brian Cramer
I'll raise my hand in the air now and admit that despite spending an unhealthy amount of time during my childhood on the attempt I was never able to successfully unscramble a Rubik's Cube. My level of frustration was so great that at one point I broke the cube into its component cube-lets...laid the pieces out on the floor...and reassembled them into their virgin form. It was cheating but, by that point, it was an either/or situation...ie either I saved my sanity with a little creative DIY...or I went crazy and spent the rest of my life demonically twisting the little swine and getting excited when three blocks of the same color magically became aligned.
Which means that I should probably avoid all things Rubik's like the plague but...really...how much trouble could I get into with a pepper mill?
Hawkeye: Margaret, wasn’t this potholder supposed to be a scarf?
Margaret: It hasn’t been a scarf in weeks. I’m knitting a sweater for a pilot I met in Tokyo.
- M*A*S*H
Sitting around...on your own...with the flu...is a dangerous thing. You’re bored...you’re feeling sorry for yourself...and when an email arrives in your mailbox inviting you to view articles which have been reduced by an additional 90% you do so.
Up until this point I’d managed to view Yoox (the sender of the aforementioned email) as a “visit briefly but not stay long enough to do any damage” site...mainly because of the sheer volume on offer. I realize it’s churlish to complain of an excess of riches...and maybe it’s just me...but after I’ve clicked through 20 or 30 pages of items I get the kind of feeling usually associated with the consumption of an entire bag of candy (satiated but not in a good way).
However, brimming with boredom (and, I'll admit, a hefty amount of DayQuil) I kept clicking long after the point when I would normally have abandoned ship...and hit a non-boring-basics mother lode. Item number one, a pair of dark grey dress pants from Golden Goose. You may remember that I was casting covetous glances at a pair of their pants a while ago...but was deterred by the mind-boggling price tag ($510 for a pair of chinos)...$29 is a much nicer amount...especially for a pair of pants that manage to trail the ground on my 5’11” frame. Item number two, a flannel bubble skirt from Nicole Farhi...because I can’t resist a “bubble”. The final purchase satiated the desire for a pair of decks shoes which has been nibbling away at me for a while now...I’ve been trying to resist their “I’m off to the country club for a game of tennis with Buffy” overtones but succumbed to this black patent leather pair from Ralph Lauren (if you’re going to go preppy you might as well get them from the King of Prep).
Obviously, in addition to the "don't consume alcohol" warnings, something should be added to the side of the cold medicine along the lines of "using this drug and shopping online may be hazardous to your bank balance".
This really isn't a good week to try and convince people that the fashion Gods don't have distorted views of beauty...first the whole Ralph Lauren airbrushing debacle...and now the news that Christian Louboutin thinks Barbie has cankles.
I mean...really...?
At what point should you admit to yourself that, just possibly, you have a problem. Or, to be more precise, how many winter coats and jackets does the average person actually need to get them through the icy bleakness? Even being generous with the breakdown of warm to cold days in the typical year, and designating five months as being cold enough to require a thick outer layer, we’re only really talking about a hundred and fifty or so days of winter chill.
Being a nerd I have to break the numbers down into a days to coat ratio, which has to be a minimum of ten to enable the cost per wear ratio to take full effect (does anyone else see a “fashion math” pattern emerging here?) So, a hundred and fifty days, ten days of wear per coat, ideally there should be fifteen winter coats and jackets hanging in my closet.
Which provides an answer to my initial question. You should admit you have a problem when you know, with a fair degree of accuracy, that you can justify a total of fifteen examples of a certain item and you actually own (at last count) at least double that.
| Much as Isabel Marant's clothes seem to be the staples in my wardrobe...the old friends that I reach for when I want something comfortable yet feminine...and much as I find something eternally appealing about the country gentleman appeal of a Tattersall check...this is one shirt that I won't be rushing to put on my credit card. The reason? The misaligned pockets would drive me insane. I know it takes more work...and uses a little more fabric...to get the checks to align. For that reason, if this was from H&M it (somewhat perversely) wouldn't bother me...but for a shirt that has to cost several hundred dollars, it irks me beyond belief. |  |
As a city dweller...and someone who's more than a little paranoid about purse snatchers, muggers, and other assorted nasties who go bump in the night...Rachel Comey's muff clutch is something that makes gasp as its wondrousness (and ponder what kind of bemused folks are going to be routed here courtesy of Google).
Handbag...handwarmer (thanks to a faux rabbit fur lining on the muff portion)...and offering about as much bag security as you can get without actually shackling the bag to your person...this even solves the cocktail party conundrum of how to juggle a bag, glass, and assorted munchies whilst only having one pair of hands.
I don't often write about music...and I don't go to many live shows any more...the first because this is, predominantly, a fashion blog...the second because, as pathetic as it may be, I actually like to sit down at a show (as opposed to standing around for a few hours or being shoved back and forth like a lemming about to go over the edge). I like comfort with my music...there, I've said it, let the "you're missing out on the full experience unless you're standing next to a cockroach or perched on top of a trashcan" music gods rain down on me.
Having said that, Mr. Heb and I actually dragged ourselves out last night for a little entertainment, courtesy of Pegboy and Screeching Weasel (performing under the umbrella of 'Riot Fest'...though, to be honest, the event organizer should realize that by the time they've subjected the men to what is essentially a full-body search...and rather genteelly asked the ladies to submit to a handbag frisk...a lot of the potential for riot is gone...perhaps they should just call it 'Mildly Upset With the Potential to Have an Argument Fest' and have done with it).
Regardless of which...there’s something infinitely satisfying about a wall of sound hitting you...so loud that your heart seems to beat in time to the music and your ears ring for a sustained period of time after you leave the show...and if it's vintage punk that causes this sensation, all the better.
"Run rabbit - run rabbit - Run! Run! Run!
Don't give the farmer his fun! Fun! Fun!
He'll get by
Without his rabbit pie
So run rabbit - run rabbit - Run! Run! Run!"
- Flanagan and Allen
| While I'm not 100% in love with the execution of this jacket (why give the jacket itself a polyester lining and the rabbit fur liner a silk one?)...I'm smitten by the idea behind it. I sense an eBay quest in my near future...for something old and ratty and furry that I can hack into pieces and stuff inside one of the numerous plain black jackets hanging in my closet. |  |
| "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!' This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!' Merely this and nothing more." Turtleneck sweaterdress - Vince, lame leggings - American Apparel, hi-tops - Converse, talon cuff - Pamela Love |  |
As soon as they come close, and you can see the gleam in their eye (and the accompanying twitch in their fingers) you know that you are about to fall prey to “the touch”. You brace yourself and consider, once again, that there are two ways of handling this situation.
One, to grimly grin and bear it as someone; a close friend, distant acquaintance, or complete stranger tweaks and fondles your latest prized purchase. To ignore the tiny voices screaming in your head reminding you that the tweaker’s fingers have the potential to have touched anything in the last few minutes (especially disturbing at a cocktail party where it’s a 99.9% certainty that those very fingers were recently clasped around something tasty yet stain inducing) and the remaining traces of grease/grime/dirt are now being transferred onto your new bag/sweater/skirt.
The other option, that of reflexive recoil or anguished gasp of dissent may save your wardrobe but, admittedly, has the potential to leave you friendless (and probably not invited back to future parties).
Perhaps the only sure way to preserve both your closet and your companions is to assume the offensive, turn from tweaked to tweaker, and let others live in fear of you.
| From the sunshine to the cold...though, admittedly, 'Frisco was on the chilly side...and today was more 'crisp' than cold...perfect Fall weather with even the trees cooperating with a little green-to-red-to-falling-on-the-ground action. Tweed coat - Acne, floral scarf - Liberty, striped top - Vivienne Westwood, jeans - Joe's, hi-tops - Converse, bag - Balenciaga * Today's quote is courtesy of Percy Bysshe Shelley |  |
Mr. Heb has a great fondness for patterned men's shirts...the sort of thing associated with Paul Smith, Liberty of London, and countless sofas and over-stuffed armchairs lurking in countless homes in countless sleepy English villages...proper, traditional shirts that require proper, traditional accoutrements...like cuff links.
Of course, as I quickly learned, you can just opt for any cuff link...whatever you pick has to be classic enough to add a touch of sobriety to your shirt...yet not be completely devoid of humor. It's like the search for the holy grail; I may not be the easiest, or fastest, shopping companion...but discussing all the possible permutations of link and cuff is the fashion equivalent of stamp collecting...buried in minutiae that only an enthusiast can enjoy.
Which is why I'm rather chuffed with myself for having purchased this Boy's Jewelry Set as a gift for Mr. Heb...authentically classic (I could imagine these being sold in the back of a boy's magazine, in whose stories the boys always have "jolly good times" and the sort of clean, honest fun that it was really only possible to have in the days before television and a constant stream of worldly knowledge killed the innocence of youth)...and amusing (if you keep the links' guns...and the tie clip's gunbelt...firmly in the realm of childhood...the land of cowboys and indians...plastic sheriff badges...and endings that are never final).
The only question left oustanding...who is Stacy?
If the accompanying blurb is accurate these horn bangles are made by the same maker as that of Hermes’ horn jewelry. As the accompanying price tag is far removed from that of Hermes these undeniably fall under the 'ultimate level of bargaindom' category...mainly because, in addition to being "a steal, a deal, etc, etc", they're luxuriously simple...or do I mean simply luxe?
| You can accurately gauge my level of athleticism by taking note of the fact that I am labeling my acquisition of a vintage edition of the "Game of India"...aka Parcheesi...aka "Mensch ärgere dich nicht" in Germany ("Man, don't get mad")...as "sport". Yep, I'm that lazy...if it can't be played with a cocktail in one hand it is much too strenuous for my tastes...which probably explains my short-lived enthusiasm for softball (it's difficult to successfully catch the ball when you're scared of spilling your beverage). I'm also slightly confused...by the camels on the front of the box...if it was "Game of Egypt" they'd be a no brainer but they seem like an odd choice to encapsulate the magic of India... |  |
Two sweaters...separated by $450...two sleeves...and a few hundred feet of additional wool. In the left corner, Dries van Noten's side-zipped mohair number...in the right, Hope's open-sided vest.
Both offer the dual-purpose neckline...it's a bird, it's a plane...no, wait, it's a turtleneck, it's a shoulder covering collar... and both come in pleasingly autumnal marmalade hues...which do you prefer? Function or whimsy?
| I feel like I'm settling into a rut as I post yet another picture of yet another black dress. The only mitigating factor that I can lay before you is that the combination of Grecian pleating and leather waist and neckline removes this from the quagmire of LBDs and into more interesting territory. |  |
| Unless I resorted to double-sided sticky tape...or some form of wig glue...any attempts to actually wear this incredibly chic, yet S&M-ish, rubber bow hair slide would result in it living up to its name and, quite literally, sliding off my head. Leaving me...once again...cursing the fact that the combination of my lank, thin hair and the majority of hair embellishments are not a match made in heaven... |  |
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands." - Douglas Adams
| I'm going to add a warning to this post...from personal experience I'd suggest that you look upon these handmade French wooden bird callers as art...and not something that should be tooted upon whenever the urge hits you. I, myself, own the mallard duck caller (the one on the far left) and I barely manage the occasional quack before Mr. Heb politely requests that I "shut the hell up"...the thought of what feedback I would encounter if I added the blackbird, nightingale, and cuckoo to my repertoire is a little disturbing... |  |
| It's time for another round of attempting to consume inedible airline food and engaging in the subtle fight to stuff my carry-on in the overhead compartment before anyone else does. This time the destination is San Francisco...I'm delighted by the thought of a change of scenery yet dismayed by the idea of abandoning the fall weather and returning to more summer-y temperatures. Additionally...and even more troubling than the rise in temperatures...my "travel wear" standard seem to be dropping with every flight...this week jeans...next week the phantom sweatpant? T-shirt - vintage, moto jacket - APC, jeans - Levis, glitter flats - Me Too |  |
| If Roman gods wore dresses...which I suppose, in a way, they did...I could see Hermes wearing this little number...with its studded shoulders and accompanying wings...to an evening out at a Screeching Weasel gig (an affair that this little Heb will be attending in the near future). On a less deity driven plain it would also work rather well with a turtleneck and tights... |  |
| The comforting...I mean slightly disturbing...that is to say...it's at once reassuring and disconcerting that in Ralph Lauren time the years merge into one seamless blob...vintage RL designs and those of current seasons blend seamlessly together...so that you're left wondering if time has stood still... I was reminded of this manifestation of the space/time continuum when I flipped through Barney's latest Co-Op catalog and spotted a Navajo blanket jacket...almost identical to the skirts sitting in my closet (thanks to my mother's fascination during the 80's with all things Lauren)...and a gentle push to take the blasted things out every once in a while and actually wear them... |  |
Two addictions...the ombre effect found on Balenciaga's sumptuous shades...and the kind of over-sized sunglasses found on aging matrons in Miami Beach...
My latest fix? These vintage Ray Bans...swampy green...large enough to cover half my face...and $12 at a local resale shop...
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