Louis Vuitton's Spring/Summer collection left me shaking my head. Surely, I thought, surely I must be missing something (anything)...this cannot be as bad as it appears at first glance. Hoping to gain some insight I scanned the reviews and learned that this was another of Jacobs' collaborations with artists...though, after Sprouse and Murakami, I have to wonder if this is a case of third time not being a charm. The artist in this instance was Richard Prince who, I'm ashamed to say, I had never heard of before I read the reviews. But thanks to the joys of the world wide web I uncovered a very interesting article from 2003 on Slate's website...which includes such wonderful one-liners as "Prince's nurses are ciphers of femininity: accessible yet forbidden, wholesome yet on intimate terms with strangers' bodily fluids." But to continue...

The paragraph that I found most illuminating when taken alongside the Vuitton collection was that "there's certainly nothing new about the fetishization of nurses. The naughty nurse is one of those deeply ingrained stereotypes that just keeps surfacing—on soap operas, on Halloween, in the pages of glossy fashion magazines. But are they what we expect from Richard Prince, an artist best known for his sophisticated critiques of the insidious myths of American consumer culture? Are these paintings ironic appropriations meant to deconstruct a regressive stereotype? Or has an element of sheer pleasure snuck into the irony?".

So, was this intended as hit-them-over-the-head irony, to have an artist known for "critiquing the myths of consumer culture" create cartoon handbags that, at a minimum, must be going to retail for $5,000? If so, guess who gets the last laugh? It certainly won't be the women with the bags...or Spongebob Squarepants.

To quote that great poet, philosopher, and puppet, Zippy, "It's not fair!". Not fair at all...to keep finding gorgeous shoes that I have no hope of owning...unless the sale Gods smile down on me that is. The latest are these Alexander McQueen patent leather flats, with zippers running from front to back, and a copper skull dangling from each heel (yes, again with the skulls). They're punk, but prim...uptown, downtown, and all areas in between...and too darned expensive...

As yesterday's temperatures soared to 90 degrees...disturbing for the first week of October...I did what any rational person would do in the circumstances...I decided to browse through the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog.

As it turns out, I'm glad I did it now so that it didn't leave a nasty taste in my mouth closer to the big day. It was all so...dull...taking bland-but-expensive to dizzying heights. Do the wealthy really buy such boring Christmas gifts? I don't imagine that they trade Caribbean islands or diamond mines but does anyone thrill with delight at receiving a $7,500 Hello Kitty necklace or a $4,800 enameled giraffe "objet"? Not an objet d'art you understand, as this is definitely not art,just a plain old objet. Looking through the catalog provoked as much excitement as having a gift certificate that's about to expire in a store you don't really like.

The only thing I could find that I'd get vaguely enthusiastic about if I found it under the tree was a Marc by Marc Jacobs letter bracelet...cute, though I think the jangling would push me over the edge...and one step closer to the eggnog.

The old spiel was that you could never be too rich or too thin; the upcoming Sex and the City movie seems to want to dispel that myth once and for all. How else to explain some of the outfits that Sarah Jessica Parker has been put into? The Vivienne Westwood wedding dress, for example, begs for curves and is given a skeleton...the effect is bizarre.

There's also the age issue. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept that women of any age have the ability to look modern and fashionable...style is not something reserved for twenty year olds...and there are plenty of inspirational examples of this (see Carine Roitfeld in my last post). However, some of the movie outfits definitely bring the words mutton and lamb to mind. Worse, a few ensembles are actually aging. The black outfit below is a good example as it seems to add about 10 years, and numerous wrinkles, to Parker.

It's all a little depressing. I was a fan of the television show...and I enjoyed Patricia Field's styling...but something's gone wrong. Like the once record-breaking athlete who comes out of retirement for "one more try" there's a hint of desperation. A sense of hopelessly trying to recapture something instead of moving forward with the times.

It seems that there are a lot of people out there hoping and praying that the skull trend will die. I can't say I'm one of them. Skulls aren't a fleeting fad, they've been used in art throughout history...from 16th Italian painters like Guercino to Shakespeare's Hamlet and in numerous forms of Victorian memento mori. Wearing a skull you are, in one moment of time, both facing your mortality and stepping out from what is considered the norm. Because, that's the strange thing, no matter how prevalent skulls become there is always a part of them that suggests rebellion. They impart a kind of classical edge, as can be seen from the McQueen bag that Carine Roitfeld was toting during fashion week. Chic...with a twist.

There were so many flowers on the Paris runways this week...the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. As I flicked through images of Kenzo's floral tribute (which, let's face it, wouldn't have been Kenzo if it didn't have flowers) I remembered my mother's drug addict-esque fascination with Kenzo in the late-80's, early 90's. She'd whizz round the store in Paris...drawn to yet one more flower covered skirt/bag/shirt like a moth to a flame.

Which meant that somewhere...in a closet or suitcase...the Kenzo motherload was resting quietly. And, after much digging around earlier today, I uncovered it...or at least as much of it as I think I'm going to find. The result of this "closet shopping" was a black floral boxy clutch with a useful (and removable) leather strap to convert it to a cross-body bag and two large cotton pareos. What I especially like about the pareos is that they're made from a very thin cotton so even though they are huge they can be worn like regular scarves or tied into an oversized bow-tie. With some more time on my hands, and the right skirt, I'd like to see if one of them could be worn apron-style as an overskirt. So, some blooming lovely additions to my everyday wardrobe and not a penny spent...I really need to closet shop more often.

Like me, you may have been feeling a little depressed about missing The Golden Age of Couture exhibit at the Victoria & Albert Museum in London. Even though the exhibition runs through January 6th of 2008 I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to see it and that the companion book was going to be my only solace. However, in the spirit of Blue Peter (without the cardboard toilet paper rolls) I've come up with a few ways to not feel completely left out.

Create your own exhibition
V&A Prints offer prints or canvases of selected images from the V&A's collection. There are 26 prints to choose from the Golden Age exhibit with 5"x7" glossies starting at £5 and canvasses running up to a couple of hundred pounds, depending on size.



Design a shoe for Jimmy Choo
Well, at least a shoe design competition to be judged by Jimmy Choo. No prizes, other than the joy of winning, in case anyone thought some Choo's may be up for grabs.

And finally...

The D.I.Y. At Home Couture Experience
One bottle of champagne, a few piles of magazines, several blissful hours of luxury.

I realize that Karl Lagerfeld has a fascination with Lindsay Lohan and the like but aren't Chanel ankle bags, which bear an uncanny resemblance to the alcohol monitoring bracelets which seem to be de rigeur amongst young Hollywood, taking things a step too far?

What's next, the Chanel headstone (as shown on The Wooster Collective's site) for when sclerosis of the liver sets in?

Talk about having it all, Toronto based graffiti artist Ndeur pretty much delivers. Limited edition, each pair of vintage leather shoes is handpainted once you pick the base color and heel height. Add in the fun of having a piece of wearable street art and the whole 80's vibe and you're all set.

As a continuation of my luggage post from earlier this week...and because I couldn't resist something as cute, expensive, and completely unnecessary as this...a little something for the gentlemen...a limited edition collaboration between Goyard and Alexis Mabille, exclusively for Colette.

A bow-tie case...with a Colette-blue bow-tie inside, of course.

I recently read that some women are still patiently waiting for the Balenciaga jackets and scarves they pre-ordered and which they are now expecting to receive in mid to late October. Yes, those jackets and those scarves which have been in every magazine and spawned numerous copies...except these are the real, and very expensive, deal.

Which got me thinking...the scarves are selling for around 1,000 to 4,000 Euros depending on the amount of embellishment...the jackets are similar big ticket items...won't they be a little dated by the time they get them? I know, they're "pieces" which can be worn for a long time to come, cherished, and handed down to future generations but isn't a part of this the thrill of wearing something new? When does late become too late and what is the cut-off point? When the cruise collections hit the stores in November?

Even though coverage of this is going to be everywhere I had to post about Hussein Chalayan's presentation of his Spring/Summer collection as a short film, instead of a runway show. It may not be everyone's cup of tea...especially the soundtrack...but I loved it. To be able to follow the process step-by-step...to hear Chalayan, in his own words, discuss the ideas behind the collection...snippets from the shoot...all culminating in the film itself is a real treat.

And it's not all pretentious twaddle either, the clothes are gorgeous. As Chalayan, somewhat comfortingly, says, "at the end of the day, no matter what you say, we're trying to make beautiful clothes'. Considering some of the pieces that hit the catwalks recently that is a truly novel concept.

Not to be repetitive, but I've found yet another chunky owl ring to lust over. This time it's Gerard Tully's 18 carat gold ring with black diamond eyes. Not too subtle perhaps, but sometimes you just don't want subtle...you want "yes, this is my knuckleduster / good luck talisman, isn't it fabulous?".

Thank you Garance Doré for this streetstyle picture from Paris fashion week of French Vogue's Melanie Huynh. Okay, "streetstyle" is probably a bit of a stretch to describe one of the perfectly styled Voguettes but she is standing on the street so it can slide in on a technicality. The thing that struck me is that, once again, there's nothing that can be defined as "special"...yet the combination of the basics pieces, the muted shades, and the mix of textures, is perfection.

I suppose one of the big questions on everyone minds as regards the Paris shows was, what will Nicolas Ghesquiere do for Spring/Summer 08? Well, the answer is...put out about 30 variations of the same shape, just vary the fabric...each escapee from a furniture fabric shop being even more horrendous from the last...add some overemphasized darts and stitching...and shoulders, that are quite literally, blossoming out...

I’m really shocked. This isn’t inventive or pushing the boundaries...it’s just ugly. And with the stratospheric pricing at Balenciaga, this is expensive ugly. According to Cathy Horyn, from the NY Times, this collection is “a strong fashion statement. It is what designers of Ghesquiere’s caliber are supposed to do — push our imaginations with the techniques and materials available to them.” Is that really what this is doing, or is it a case of the Emperor’s new clothes?

I’m now going to go and sit in a darkened room and remove these images from my head...which is easier said than done as they will probably feature prominently in every magazine for the next few months.

You know how it invariably goes...you ramp yourself up and get giddy with anticipation...and everything falls flat...

So imagine the ecstatic expression on my face when I saw images from Isabel Marant's Spring/Summer 08 collection and realized that I loved virtually every piece. Okay, it's not revolutionary...at least in concept...in reality there are masses of none too subtle military overtones...but it is the kind of wearable, "cute French girl" clothing that I, for one, find awfully hard to resist.

The bad news, if you are also a fan of Marant's designs, is that unless you live near a store that stocks her pieces...or are willing to order over the phone, sight unseen...you may find it difficult to get your hands on it. According to a sales assistant at a store I frequent, Marant has asked stores not to post images of her clothes on their websites in an attempt to lessen the risk of knock-offs. Which is a great idea for frustrating the efforts of counterfeiters but a little hard on the consumers. As they say, all's fair in love and war...and the fight against makers of "designer replicas".

According to the October issue of British Elle, which I picked up yesterday,"shine-free, tousled texture is in" when it comes to hair. So, basically...frizz? The look that I've been applying oceans of goop in order to avoid is the dernier cri? Well, halelujah! Thank you Elle for making my day. That even makes up for the sample pack of L'Oreal make-up remover which burst and oozed over pages 140-194. I can't say what its pros and cons are regarding the removal of make-up but it swept through the images of Kate Moss' latest Topshop collaboration (not a great loss) and left a nasty stain in Gwen Stefani's crotch in her LAMB fragrance ad (proof, yet again, that white pants are not a good choice).

I am a fan of traveling in style...trying to recreate, or at least pay homage to, the bygone ages when it was perfectly acceptable take enough luggage to (pardon the expression) sink a ship...trunks, suitcases, and bags filled to the brim with clothing and impedimentia to cover any eventuality. A sudden whim to paint a watercolor of Niagara Falls? How handy that I brought my collapsible easel and paint set. An invitation to go on a picnic? The portable record player is in the large trunk on the left.

That's my ideal...the reality is somewhat different. In reality, the cabin on a train is large enough for a small carryall and two people. Anything larger and you're getting into serious lack-of-room-for-cat-swinging-purposes territory. Let's not even mention the fact that there is no need to dress up to visit the restaurant car...actually, let's not even use the term "restaurant car"...it's a diner on wheels. It's the same with traveling by ship. I've sailed the Atlantic twice and it's a wonderful, leisurely, way to get from point A to point B. Much nicer than flying but lacking some of the luxury that the method of transportation suggests. I need to face facts, I'm a 1930's traveler stuck in a noughties world...but I'm not alone, at least if Wes Anderson's movies are anything to go by. Especially "The Darjeeling Express"** which opens this Friday. A train ride across India? Maybe. A train ride across India with a one-off set of Louis Vuitton luggage? Sign me up, now!

If you're a fellow fan of luggage with a capital L...and have a bank balance that could keep a small country chugging along happily for a little while...the Vuitton luggage is being auctioned off for charity, specifically UNICEF and the Rawal Mallinathji Foundation in India. Silent bids can be dropped off at the Vuitton store in New York. And if the future owner of the luggage would like to make an additional donation of say, a small duffel from the set, to the "Hebden Needs Better Luggage Fund"...well, I would definitely be a happy little camper...sailor...passenger...

**For a sneak preview of the luggage in action, take a look at Wes Anderson's short companion film "Hotel Chevalier"...available as a free download on iTunes.