Having never actually seen an episode of the show I can't say exactly why but...I feel very Pee-wee's Playhouse today. Whether this is a good or bad thing, I can't quite decide... Plaid shirt - Karen Walker, cardigan - J Crew, pants - Prada, Mary Janes - Gentle Souls, neckpiece - made by me

"Two frogs fell into a bowl of cream. One didn't panic, he relaxed and drowned. The other kicked and struggled so much that the cream turned to butter and he walked out." - unknown

I think that I must have been a drum majorette in a former life...I say a f.l. because it requires a level of musicality and athleticism that I certainly don't possess in this one...and it's the only way I can explain my obsession with frogging...the latest example of which is this pair of brooches from Tatty Devine...which would allow me to "frog" literally every item of clothing in my closet.

If it's wrong to get this excited about mirrored gold acrylic then I am the wrongest person living in wrongville on the planet wrong...

"Lacking ladylike poison, Lizzie (Borden) did what every over-civilized, understated Wasp is entirely capable of doing once we finally admit we're mad as hell and aren't going to take it any more: She went from Anglo to Saxon in a trice" - Florence King

Prada's Spring/Summer '10 collection didn't thrill me...frequent readers will know that I'm a shorts hater and the combination of nappiesque and Bermuda versions was too much for me...the hair and make-up, on the other hand, had the disheveled yet ladylike air that I find completely irresistible. I see ludicrous amounts of backcombing and a can of hairspray in my near future...

...another one opens. At least that's what they say...and who am I to argue...as my winter wishlist tally sheet is now minus on the boot side...and plus on the tweed coat. Or...to mix yet another metaphor...what I've lost on my corset-booted swings I have gained on my tweedy little Acne roundabouts.

Checking every box on my checklist...

• Menswear inspired...well, to be entirely accurate, menswear in the smallest available size...
• Clean lines...the pockets fasten from the inside so that no buttons mar the exterior...
• Mid-thigh length...I have plenty of long coats...and short coats...I wanted something that fell betwixt and between...a cold weather companion to thick tights and ankle boots...

The other plus is that this is my final purchase from "the favorite local store which is going out of business" and, as such, was nicely reduced even though it is current season stock.

What with one thing and another...mainly my little Swiss adventure...by the time I got round to calling Oak about the LD Tuttle boots they were sold out. As the only other store that I could find who's selling that particular style is doing so for $150 more...Sak's, I'm looking and you and your illogical and extremely irritating habit of over-pricing...made all the more blatant and incomprehensible by the fact that in this virtual world it's so easy to comparison check and see how marked up everything is...I think this is one of those cases of, on good days, regarding this as something that was just not meant to be...and, on bad days, cursing myself for my prevarication.

And the boot hunt continues...

From a purely "what would make my life easier?" standpoint there are several kitchen related items that I could really use. Topping the list are...

• a food-mixer
• a garlic press
  
• and a pair of scissors that stay closed and don't lay, wide open, in the cutlery drawer waiting to take a stab at me if I try to find a fork without turning the light on

The one thing that I have absolutely no need for...and which would take up valuable storage space in my depressingly small kitchen...appetizer plates. Yet what do I find myself casting covetous glances at? You guessed it. But it's not my fault...how can you resist a guy with a champagne cork for a head?

Considering how lucky I've been with sale purchases recently I suppose it was inevitable that I'd run into the evil combination of something that I know I'd get a lot of wear out of...vastly reduced...and sold out in my size. If it was clothing, I'd risk it...but you can't argue with shoes that are too small...okay, you can argue...but then you're known as "the gimpy one with the funny walk".

If you happen to have small feet...and are looking for something in a snake-printed leather, cuban-heeled, cowboy-style, ankle boot...you may want to cast a glance at these beauties from British label You Must Create.

Or is it? I'm trying to decide if blogging has made me unutterably jaded...or if, to date, the Spring/Summer '10 collections have really been (in the majority of cases) as yawn inducing as I currently imagine. Discounting Karen Walker...whose collection I could take a good stab at recreating thanks to the morass of striped tees and black blazers currently infesting my closet...the only sight that made me yearn for spring were Charles Anastase's hoop skirts... Even worse, my built-in attraction to the dark side is causing me to panic at the thought of the pastel tsunami that is destined to wash over us all come the spring...

I've been saying it for a while now...and, to be fair, it's been too blisteringly warm up till this point to do anything about it...but I really need to wear some of the vast array of scarves hiding in my closet (and resolve not to buy any new ones until I've done so). Rather embarrassingly I'd actually...hmmm, this really is embarrassing...I'd actually forgotten that this particular scarf was even in my collection.

Even worse...this was one of the scarves that my mother wore during her hunting period (for anyone who is against humans on horseback chivvying foxes across the countryside I should say that hunting in the north of England is done on foot...across hill and field...and if you can keep up with the fox in those circumstances it should surely be considered as a slightly mitigating factor)...and which should be worn for nostalgia reasons alone...let alone the devilish little smile on the hound's face.

There are two kinds of "fashion math". The first is the good kind...where "cost per wear" equates to 10 cents an outing...or the coupon Gods align with the sale Gods to create something that is both just what you were looking for and about 80% off the regular price.

Then...there's the bad kind...where you desperately want, say, a couple of the over-sized tote bags created to celebrate 25 years of London Fashion Week (Preen's blue flowers and Charles Anastase's swan to be precise)...until you realize that the cost of shipping is exactly the same as the cost of the bags...

My list of "Sunday morning virtual newspapers/magazines to browse through while armed with a cup of coffee and a slice of cherry jam laden toast" has increased by one...which means the situation is getting dire...a few more entries and I'm still going to be loafing around reading by the time lunch rolls around.

However, having picked up an issue of the French version of Grazia on my travels, I couldn't resist taking a peek at their website...and now I'm hooked...a spattering of "fashion candy"...outfits, shopping, and the ilk...and one of the creepiest fashion week streetstyle pictures I've come across in many a day...displaying, quite clearly, that for every tasteful piece of leopard print standing around looking chic its shiny, over-the-top, nemesis is lurking in the shadows waiting to bludgeon it senseless...

"Poor Englishwomen! When it comes to their clothes-well, the French reaction is a shrug, the Italian reaction a spreading of the hands and a lifting of the eyes and the American reaction simply one of amused contempt." - James Laver

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter." - Confucius

I've mentioned my nostalgia-laden love of Joseph numerous times before...so I'm not going to cover old ground. Instead I'm going to say "hurrah!" that they have finally launched a website...though there's no fully-blown "hip, hip, hooray!" as you can't actually buy anything there...

What it does contain are small blog-gy posts (for Joseph nerds like myself)...information on which stores carry which labels...and pictures of their own Fall/Winter collection (which appears to have been plucked...lock, stock, and leopard-trimmed barrel...from Carine Roitfeld's closet). Still, as Charles Caleb Colton said, imitation is "the sincerest form of flattery"...and, quite frankly, left to my own devices (and given a briefcase stuffed with money) I'd buy most of the pieces...so I'm not going to whine about any lack of originality. Instead I'm going to grumble about not being near enough to a Joseph store to actually do any damage...

...except that I didn't...I bought candy...this t-shirt...and a satisfyingly kitsch "I lost my heart in Switzerland" patch.

As Fall is just around the corner I'm convincing myself that it's cool enough to wear a jacket...in this case, a cotton tuxedo (of the style worn by French waiters in black and white movies) from Margiela's MM6 line. I've also convinced myself to drag my python and silk Lanvin bag out of the closet...up until this point I've been so transfixed by its beauty (and accompanying delicacy) that I've been too nervous to use it...the time has come to cross my fingers and hope for the best...

"Switzerland is a small, steep country, much more up and down than sideways, and is all stuck over with large brown hotels built on the cuckoo style of architecture." - Ernest Hemingway

Just back from Geneva...laden with crippling jet-lag...yet another striped t-shirt (this time long-sleeved and tissue-thin from Zara)...a few cheesy souvenirs....and a reaffirmed belief that Balenciaga make the most utilitarian designer bags around...my Day managed five days of toting a laptop, other electronic paraphernalia, and all the other junk I had to lug around with nary a whimper (it even managed to endure the bottle of water which emptied itself inside when I stowed it under the plane seat in front of mine).

Considering that I personally have two Barbours hanging in the coat closet...a regular jacket and a full-length riding coat (not to mention Mr. Heb's mini collection)...this is definitely not a prospective purchase post...more of a "what a great idea, I wish they'd thought of this sooner" post. Because what's not to love about a Barbour trench coat? Waterproof to the nth degree...stylish...and virtually indestructible (my own coats have been treated incredibly badly over the years and are still going strong)...when you compare it to the majority of other trench coats which, though beautiful, seem unable to actually withstand a certain amount of rain it's one of those irresistible marriages of practicality and good looks. I'd better stop now before I talk myself into "needing" a new Barbour...

When I first tried Kiehl's Gardenia rollerball I couldn't figure out why both Mr. Heb and I were both attracted to it to such a degree...it being relatively rare that we both sniff in agreement. Even our reasoning matched...it was "comforting"..."homey"..."like being warm indoors on a cold winter day". Then, after a few days, I realized...the scented candles that we light in the winter are (you guessed it) scented with gardenia. Yep...I'm the woman who smells like her living room...

"Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth." - Calvin Trillin

I'm considering this post somewhat of a two-pronged Public Service Announcement. Prong number one means that someone gets their sticky little mitts on a Rick Owens boiled wool/cashmere dress from his 2008 Fall/Winter collection for a very reasonable price. Prong number two means that (as a consequence of prong one) the buyer won't be me...which means, I suppose, that my mantra "I do not need another sweater related product in my closet" is actually working.

I feel like starting a petition to get French brand, the kooples, to start selling their clothes in the US...it's either that or stop looking at their website...as every time I do so I find at least one or two items to drool over...this time my unrequited love list includes this button necked t-shirt and double-zip-waisted tweed skirt...nothing excessive, just basics with that extra bit of detail.